Social Life & Friendship in Germany: A Guide for Expats

You might wonder why you feel lonely in a country with over 80 million people. If you're an expat in Germany trying to understand German social life, trust me. You’re not alone.

Life in Germany comes with cultural habits you don’t see at first. Once you learn these small but important differences, connecting with people becomes much easier. Here are my three simple tips for making friends in Germany and understanding everyday social norms.

From Bekannter to Freund: Why Friendship Takes Time in Germany

When I first moved to Germany, I spent five years with just one close German friend. I kept asking myself why friendship in Germany felt so hard.

Years later, I now have more than five close German friends. And honestly, that feels like a big win for any foreigner trying to build a social circle.

Many expats discover the same thing. Making friends in Germany takes time. Germans don’t open up fast. They build trust slowly. This is part of German culture, where individualism and personal space are very important.

People don’t share personal details quickly. So going from Bekannter (acquaintance) to Freund (friend) is a long journey. But once you get there, you gain a loyal friend who truly stays in your life.

So don’t give up. Your future German friendships just need time.

German Directness: Why Small Talk Doesn’t Exist

One of the biggest cultural differences in Germany is the communication style. In many places, small talk is normal. But in Germany, small talk doesn’t really exist.

This doesn’t mean Germans are unfriendly. It simply shows the German communication style. People prefer to be direct and get to the point. They think it’s respectful not to waste time.

At first, this can feel strange, especially if you come from a culture where chatting with strangers is part of daily life. But after a while, you get used to it.

After eight years of living here, I now experience reverse culture shock whenever I visit Türkiye. I no longer want to discuss the weather or the bakery’s mood before buying bread.

If you're an expat adjusting to German social norms, this is one of the first things you’ll notice.

German Compliments: What “Good” Really Means

I live with a wonderful German woman. Compared to my Mediterranean energy, she seems very calm.

At first, I thought she was annoyed with me. She would say things like, “It doesn’t look ugly,” or “Yeah, it would work.” For my cultural background, these didn't sound like compliments at all.

But over time, I learned this is just German compliment culture. Germans don’t exaggerate. They don’t overpraise. They keep things simple and honest.

If you come from a culture with big emotions and expressive compliments, this can feel confusing. But eventually you’ll appreciate the honesty. When a German says something is “good,” they truly mean it.

Once you understand that these differences come from culture and not from you, everything becomes easier.

Integrating into Germany takes time. But with patience and openness, you can build real, long-lasting friendships.

Try again. Stay open. And who knows. Maybe in a few years you’ll also have more German friends than you ever expected.